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10,000+ views!

I’ve reached 10000+ views! yay! 😀

When I started this blog a few months ago, I wanted to share some of my stories whether happy, sad or ridiculous. I’m still not sure whether those posts are even read but I’m glad that this ridiculous blog got viewed 10000+ times and y’all made this moment possible.

Thank you for putting up with my bullshit, thank you for your interest whether in duckface elimination kits or rape videos (that post keeps getting me traffic *cough* pervs *cough*) and thank you for reading through my very long and sometimes totally dramatic posts. I really appreciate it. 🙂

Happy Friday!

 

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I want my jellybeans.

Watching this video makes me sad. It makes me want to disconnect from all the technology, get on a plane and do something I really love away from all the shit that TV, Internet and newspaper bring my way unwillingly.

I want to go out and run more.

I want to swim and sunbathe, play with some kids on the street. Help an old man cross the road, discuss the importance of sticking to school and ignoring the bullies with the 8 year old girl selling napkins on the streets of Cairo. I want to paint and draw. Learn how to play “Happy Birthday” on the guitar again while attempting to tune it.

I want to play with butterflies and cats. Sleep on a beach with a dead butterfly staring back at me. Telling me her story and how she fell while on duty. I want to stare at the traffic from above the bridge while waving to the truck drivers. I want to take pictures with the rickshaw drivers welcoming me to their small town. Take pictures of the hens and bunnies.

I want to watch the sunrise and the sunset while listening to Pink Floyd. Walk around with deeply tanned shoulders and hair that smells like wind and sea.. and coconut.

I want to go visit the aquarium and enjoy life under the sea. Imagining what it would be like to be a mermaid.

I want to dance with the bedouins of Sinai.. sip on some thyme tea brewed on man made fire. Mess with the camels and tease the belly dancer for obviously not having what it takes to shake that belly!

I want to go on long trips to far places and enjoy the stops. Tiptoe around dirty bathrooms and walk out like a champ!

I want to roam around Khan El Khalili and greet the lovely people trying to convince me to “come and take a look”.

Try on some rings and bracelets and trinkets.. old yet lovely trinkets. And that awesome belly dancing suit!

I want to chitchat with random strangers and discuss which side I find better: my mother’s side or father’s side.

I want to enjoy traditional Egyptian food with awesome friends early in the morning.. right after we spent all night partying and celebrating someone’s achievement. I want to have seafood with the girls and enjoy a walk down the streets on a lazy summer afternoon.

I want to ride horses.. and gallop off away from everyone.. watch everyone fade away behind.. with me and that beautiful beast roaming around history.. us against the world.

I want to go out on my own. Catch that lousy movie on my own. Go shopping on my own. Go to sleep on my own.

I want to ride the train and watch the countryside. Watch cows and donkeys carry men and children racing.

I want to sip my cup of coffee at the airport.. looking at people as they worry about things small and big. And wonder if this will be my last trip home.. or away from home.

I want my jellybeans.. I want my life back.

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If my life were a song..

Lana Del Rey - Ride

I have stumbled upon Lana Del Rey by coincidence when I was on my way back from Dubai. I was going through the list of artists on the in-flight entertainment system and thought of wasting time by listening to random hits. National Anthem was one of them. I’ve heard the song many times and I kinda liked her voice. Intrigued to discover more, I selected Lana’s full list of tracks. I can honestly say that it was one of the best flights I’ve ever been on thanks to Miss Lana’s magical voice.

Later on while I was reliving those moments, I came across “Ride”..

The song with the wonderful scenery, ridiculous good looks of Lana and the older men.. the whole combination was strange and captivating. Listening to her smooth, calming voice throughout the intro and the ending was the best part. I must have listened to this song hundreds of times on repeat. I absolutely love it. Something about this song reached into me. It touched me deeply. There’s a certain kind of sadness that makes you feel so comfortable. And that was my kind of song. I related to it although my life does not resemble anything to that video. I think that if my life were a song, it would be “Ride” by Lana Del Rey..

I will quote some parts of the intro and ending and leave you to the wonderful song my life is..

Intro

I once had a dreams of becoming a beautiful poet, but upon an unfortunate series of events some of those dreams dashed and divided like a million stars in the night sky that I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.
But I didn’t really mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it to know what true freedom is.
When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I’d been living, they asked me why – but there’s no use in talking to people who have home.
They have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people – for home to be wherever you lay your head.
I was always an unusual girl.
My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean…
And if I said I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying…
Because I was born to be the other woman.
I belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.

Ending

Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people, and finally I did on the open road.
We had nothing to lose, nothing to gain, nothing we desired anymore, except to make our lives into a work of art.
Live fast. Die young. Be wild. And have fun.
I believe in the country America used to be.
I believe in the person I want to become.
I believe in the freedom of the open road.
And my motto is the same as ever:
“I believe in the kindness of strangers. And when I’m at war with myself I ride, I just ride.”
Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?
I have. I am fucking crazy.
But I am free.