Regarding yesterday’s killing of stray cats in El Gizera Sports Club, we have created a petition addressing the prime minister of Egypt, the minister of agriculture and minister of justice to bring those in charge to justice and establish better animal welfare laws in Egypt.
I don’t really get what really excites some of us when it comes to watching animals suffer. I mean technically speaking, I do get it. Mental disease does exist and it’s not easy to admit your own disease when we’re still shaming those who suffer from it yet there’s no shame in being mentally ill UNLESS YOU DENY IT AND REFUSE TO FIX IT. But let’s step back and look at the full picture. Why would you endorse animal cruelty especially when that kind of endorsement suggests that it’s OK to abuse animals whether for entertainment, art or any other name associated with recreation.
We were a bit concerned with that when we saw the live and shocking performance of Ahmed Al Dousary on Arabs’ Got Talent almost a month ago. Till this day, we haven’t received an official apology or statement regarding the obvious act of animal abuse endorsed on the show. I honestly set up my mind on the one fact that whoever runs this establishment has zero ounce of dignity and respect to all forms of life so an apology is my last concern: they need to be treated. Again, mental disease does exist and there are many ways to help for those who seek it (but lack of money is more important than lack of sense displayed in pride of being ethically poor).
Yesterday, I was informed by my good friends that there has been yet another endorsement of animal abuse in the Middle East. This time, it took place in Qatar. Mathaf Arab Museum of Modern Art is now endorsing animal cruelty and abuse in the name of art by a man named Adel Abdessemed. Googling this man’s name brought up some pretty interesting theories as well. This was not the first time this kind of crap goes public and many voiced out their concerns regarding this kind of horrible abuse. Mr. Abdessemed’s series of video loops of animals being burnt alive and bludgeoned to death with a sledgehammer were definitely a hit with art enthusiasts. How freakin’ lovely. He already got his fine exposure in David Zwirner Gallery and is now gracing us poor ignorant Arabs with his divine art.
This is a sample of his work:
I’m sure you find animal abuse very artistic and entertaining.
This is not the first time his pieces spark controversy. But reading through that post made me realize that even in art, some douchebag has to come up with a brilliant theory justifying those kinds of shameful practices. I quote:
I understand the conviction and compassion aroused by Abdessemed. The work is exploitive and intense. I hate cruelty to animals. Still, I did come away from the Abdessemed piece knowing more than ever that I don’t believe in certainty, that even though the work wasn’t good, I was snagged by the paradox it raised about what kills what. Still, two of the best comments in the Facebook thread came from artist Matthew Weinstein, who is very certain about his position against cruelty to animals. First he made a good comparison: “I’m having my work made by Indonesian children who work 16 hours a day and get paid $10.00 a month. I’m doing it as an act of controversy to make people think about the unjust nature of the world economy. Thumbs up or down?” Of course, I’d say thumbs down, but just as quickly I thought about how the artist Santiago Sierra paid Mexican workers to do things like get tattoos on their backs or to hold up cement walls. Regardless, another Weinstein comment to someone may say it all: “Go cut the paws off a kitten.”
Mr. Weinstein here claims that exploiting children for money and animal cruelty displayed by Mr. Abdessemed is “an act of controversy to make people think about the unjust nature of the world.” Thumbs up or down? Well, how about a middle finger? WAIT!! How about both? 😀
I get it. You want to make a statement. You want people to “wake up”. Sure. Nice. FAHKING BRILLIANT. But how about making a statement that does not include making money out of the misery of other creatures whether human or not? How about asking someone to bash your head with a sledgehammer while pretending to be a horse or a goat or whatever the fuck you want that creature to be? How about getting paid $10.00 a month for a year and documenting your experience? Ever heard of Christine Chubbuck? Let me enlighten you: you might not want to blow your brains out on live TV but goddamn it: have some dignity when you want to state your honest opinion about something instead of subjecting others to the same exact shit you want gone from the face of this planet.
I quote the wonderful Christine Chubbuck’s last message to the goddamn world:
“In keeping with Channel 40’s policy of bringing you the latest in ‘blood and guts’, and in living color, you are going to see another first—attempted suicide.”
Mrs. Chubbuck: I hereby dub thee my personal hero. May your wonderful soul be flying in heaven where all those poor and unfortunate souls being exploited in the name of art, entertainment and higher ratings are definitely having a much MUCH better time.
THIS IS NOT ART.
THIS IS NOT ART.
THIS IS NOT ART.
And this will DEFINITELY not pass without publicly shaming those in charge. Shame on YOU, Adel. Shame on YOU, Mathaf. And shame on everyone associated with this. And also.. shame on every “art” enthusiast who finds this type of SHIT artistic and acceptable. I may not be an art graduate but art is not about subjecting any creature to any kind of pain or abuse whether mental or physical. ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO HAVE NO SAY IN WHAT IS BEING SUBJECTED TO THEM OR NO MEANS TO STOP IT.
Please sign this petition and stop those sick practices from infesting our region. WE DO NOT NEED MORE VIOLENCE IN THE NAME OF ANYTHING ANYMORE IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
Mathaf Arab Museum of Modern Art on Twitter
Mathaf Arab Museum of Modern Art on Facebook
And hey: you might as well want to send their director Mr. Abdellah Karroum a little email saying hello at email@example.com
Side note: here’s another instance of animal abuse as “art”:
So.. the man finally decides to take initiative and defend himself. Ahmed Aldousary now famous for his controversial audition on Arabs’ Got Talent not only fails to see the problem with what happened last week, but he also went ahead and shoved religion into it. His claims was that he did not eat the scorpion, the snake was “dead” before skinning it and that the show should have issued a warning to the viewers before airing that audition.
Mr. Ahmed claims that he killed the snake before skinning it which was pretty obvious as most of us saw during that audition. Now we all know that snakes are cold-blooded animals. That means that they depend on external heat sources in order to regulate their body temperature as their internal sources are rarely supply the body with enough heat.
Why the biology lesson? See, Mr. Ahmed here claims that he “killed” the snake before skinning it which is not considered as abuse since it’s dead and can’t feel anything. What he fails to understand is that a cold-blooded animal (e.g.: a snake or perhaps that scorpion) does not just “die” on the spot. Beheading a snake does not simply kill it. If he simply bothered to learn more about those animals he abuses so proudly, he would notice that after beheading a snakes, it doesn’t bleed due to lack of blood circulation which is attributed to its nature as a cold-blooded animal. So what he technically does each and every time he bites off a snake’s head is cause it to die a very slow and agonizing death. Just because you cut the head off does NOT mean that it’s dead. The body is pretty much alive until there is not enough blood for it to function. YOU PRETTY MUCH SKINNED THAT F’ING SNAKE ALIVE. It’s not enough that it’s dying slowly, but also skinned to add to it. And I bet it hurt like hell. (if there’s anyone out there reading this and willing to back me up on it or even correct it, please do)
Please watch the video below as it is a fine example of how much alive a snake can be even after beheading it.
I will be writing this in Arabic so that I can send this post to Mr. Ahmed in case he does not know English.
الأستاذ أحمد يدعي بأنه قام بسلخ الثعبان بعد قتله. اللي فات الأستاذ أن الثعابيين من ذوات الدم البارد والتي تستمد طاقتها الحرارية من البيئة المحيطة نظراً لكون معدل الأيض منخفض مما يؤثر سلباً على عملية التنظيم الحراري لجسم الكائن لذلك تستمد الحرارة من مصادر خارجية. كون الحيوان من ذوات الدم البارد يتمتع بتنظيم حراري منخفض يعني أن الدورة الدموية تعمل ببطئ. عندما تقوم بقطع رأس الحيوان يلاحظ عدم نزف الحيوان للدماء و هذا دليل على بطء الدورة الدموية. في حين أنك تعتقد بأن قطع الرأس كافي لقتل الحيوان، تظل الحقيقة بأن الحيوان يموت ببطئ شديد نظراً لأن الدم لا يزال ساري في جسده و كون أنك تقوم بسلخ الثعبان بعد قطع الرأس مباشرة يعني بأنك تعرضه لأسوأ أنواع التعذيب بالإضافة الى الموت البطيء. أرجو منك مشاهدة المقطع التالي كدليل على صحة الكلام أعلاه
Let’s shove religion into it!
I for one will NOT discuss religion on this platform as I do not believe that everyone shares the same beliefs but let me discuss the fact that shoving religion into this kind of argument not only gives you a bad image; it also gives Islam a worse image. See, when you link animal abuse to an act of worship you do confirm that your religion supports animal abuse. While you claim to be a God fearing and devoted Muslim, you failed to focus on the fact that Islam DEMANDS YOU to treat animals with utter respect and kindness.
Narrated Ibn ‘Umar (Radi-Allahu ‘anhu):
The Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wa Sallam) said, “A woman entered the
(Hell) Fire because of a cat which she had tied, neither giving it food nor
setting it free to eat from the vermin of the earth.”
Bukhari Vol. 4 : No. 535
If you care to know more about your own religion, you would know that it is not Halal to eat ANY meat and that even in that case you should abide to ethical treatment:
“Forbidden to you (for food) are meat of dead animals, blood, the flesh of swine, and that on which has been invoked the name of other than Allah; and the dead through beating; that which has been killed by strangling, or by a violent blow, or by a headlong fall, or by being gored to death; that which has been (partly) eaten by a wild animal; unless ye are able to slaughter it (in due form); that which is sacrificed on stone (altars); (forbidden) also is the division (of meat) by raffling with arrows: that is impiety.” (5.3)
While you are allowed to eat meat, you must follow strict instructions and if you care to educate yourself, Google Animal rights in Islam.
Also, according to many Fatwas (a legal pronouncement in Islam, issued by a religious law specialist on a specific issue), Islam does not allow you to eat snake meat. So while you are busy gobbling on your fun snacks, you already contradict yourself when it comes to the religion part since you obviously don’t know the very basics.
On a side note, your words imply that eating meat is a default in Islam and that is a huge assumption which means that Islam mandates that we eat meat and anyone who doesn’t support that is somehow deviating from the norm and possibly attacking a “sacred” calling. This is where you -again- fail. Islam allows Muslims to kill animals for food only and you can -in fact- opt out of eating meat under the condition that you do not claim that it is not Halal (unless the animals are abused or killed violently and not according to Islamic practice). Islam does not force you to eat meat. In fact: you CAN be a vegetarian Muslim.
Another debate is that this is common practice in the military. If by any chance soldiers find themselves in a situation where they lack food resources, they can and are trained to eat snakes, insects and pretty much any animal they could lay their hands on. I get it. But tell me something, can you explain the fact that you find showing off that survival skill amusing? You can also drink rancid water or even your own piss if you can’t find water (although it is also technically forbidden in Islam unless it is a matter of survival).. why didn’t you opt for that during your performance? Fact is: it is a disgusting show of skills and even those who practice it during military shows should be ashamed. I’ve seen a man rip a live chicken with his own teeth and believe me: I did not find that amusing and I seriously felt ashamed that this is the kind of people that have the honor of defending our lands and safety. I would probably look the other way if it was a matter of life or death but the fact that it’s just for show is even more disgusting, shameless and unacceptable. It. is. animal abuse. PERIOD.
Switching to Arabic;
للرد على أسئلتك: هل جميع مظلي الصاعقه مرضى نفسيين بنظرك ؟ و الجزارين بالمسالخ ؟ و المتقربين الى الله بالاضاحي ؟
خلينا نبدأ بالمتقربين الى الله بالأضاحي. كونك دخلت الدين في نقاش حول إساءة معاملة الحيوان واللي ظهر للعيان خلال فقرتك في البرنامج أكبر دليل على التباسك في بعض أمور الدين و فتح مجال للبعض للخوض في الدين. الإسلام يحث على حسن معاملة الحيوان و إن التبس عليك الأمر في ما تقوم به فلا داعي للزج بالدين في ذلك. التقرب لله لا يكون من خلال قتل الحيوان فقط دون مراعاة حالة الحيوان و طريقة الذبح السليمة والتي تضمن مراعاة حسن التعامل مع الحيوان. أنت في غنى عن أن اسرد لك أحاديث النبي و مواقف الصحابة من إساءة معاملة الحيوانات ولكن حديث المرأة التي دخلت النار لسوء معاملتها للقطة أكبر شاهد على التزام الدين بحسن التعامل مع الحيوان
أما بالنسبة للمسالخ، فموقفنا من أدائك المثير للجدل لربما يكون سبب من أسباب لفت النظر الى تلك الممارسات والتي تندرج عند البعض تحت مسمى الواجبات الدينية. تحليل أكل اللحوم له شروط عديدة أبسطها يضمن الرأفة بالحيوان عند الذبح. أود أن أقتبس هذه الآية للتوضيح
” حرمت عليكم الميته و الدم ولحم الخنزير و ما أهل لغير الله به و المنخنقه و الموقوذه و المترديه و النطيحه و ما أكل السبع الإ ما زكيتم و ما ذبح على النصب و أن تستقيموا يا لأزلام ذلكم فسق ” المائده آية 3
بالإضافة الى ذلك، أرجو منك الإطلاع على فتاوى أكل الثعابين والعقارب قبل الدخول في نقاشات عن الدين، المسالخ و ما الى ذلك. زجك بالدين في نقاشنا و عدم إلمامك بأبسط قواعد الدين من حيث تحريم أكل الثعابين هو أكبر دليل على تناقض حججك
أود أن أضيف أن الله قد أحل لنا أكل اللحوم ولكنه لم يفرضه علينا ولم يحرم على البعض عدم تناولها و كونك لا تدرك ذلك جعلك تفترض أننا بموقفنا من أدائك نسيء الى الدين أو نسعى الى ذلك. أرجو منك العلم بأن البعض لديه مطلق الحرية في عدم تناول اللحوم بشرط عدم تحريم تناولها و بأن هناك بالفعل نباتيين مسلمين، عادي جداً
ننتقل الى موضوع الجيش: أنا على علم بأن هذه الممارسات تدرب للمجندين كطريقة من طرق البقاء على قيد الحياة في حال عدم توفر أي موارد عند اللزوم ولكن في بعض الأحيان، يدرب الجنود على شرب المياه الفاسدة أو حتى البول في حال عدم توافر الماء فلما لا تشجع ذلك أيضاً ولما لم تتضمن هذه المهارات في فقرتك؟ و لما لا تقوم الإستعراضات العسكرية بإستعراض هذه المهارة أيضاُ؟ في الواقع نظرتي الشخصية لمثل تلك الممارسات والتي شهدت أحدها متمثلة في مجند يقوم بتقطيع دجاجة حية بأسنانه هي أنه استعراض مقزز ولا يجعلني أفتخر بكون هؤلاء المجندين -حماة أوطاننا و المسؤولين عن سلامتنا- يستعرضون بقتل حيوان بهذه الطريقة الوحشية والتي قد أتغاضى عنها في حال كانت مسألة حياة أو موت وليس إستعراض للمهارات و القدرات. الواقع هو أن تلك الممارسات المشينة لا تشرفني كونها تعد إيذاء غير مبرر بتاتاً للحيوانات
Since you know your segment could be shocking to some viewers, what makes you still defend your conduct since you don’t see anything wrong with it? MBC group should also answer that question since they chose to air it without the regular “viewer discretion” announcement.
بما أنك على علم بأن الفقرة ستكون صادمة لبعض المشاهدين، لما لازلت تدافع عن أفعالك خلال الفقرة بما أنك على قناعة بعدم وجود أي إساءة؟ أما بالنسبة للتنبيه والذي كان يجب على القناة أن تذيعه قبل الفقرة، أترك الرد عن سبب عدم عرض ذلك التنبيه لهم
This is my question to you now: WHO ASKED YOU TO DO IT? Was it the producers? The answer to this question will clear out a lot of things here so kindly do provide us with an answer,
If by any chance you confirm that the producers did ask you to eat those animals, it will only prove my previous assumptions that they knew about what will take place in that audition and that somehow they thought the viewers wouldn’t mind something you have personally stopped doing and all for extra ratings. If that is so, we’re at a new level of human and ethical degradation.
بناءاً على ما قمت بكتابته، أود أن أعلم من أجبرك على فعل ذلك مع العلم أنك بناءاَ على ما قلت توقفت منذ 7 سنوات و معارض لتلك الأفعال؟ هل قام منتجي البرنامج على إجبارك؟ أرجو الإجابة لأن تلك الإجابة ستوضح العديد من الأمور
إذا تم تأكيد أن منتجي البرنامج طلبوا منك القيام بذلك، ستثبت صحة إدعائي بأنهم كانوا على علم بكل ما سيجرى خلال الفقرة و بأنهم افترضوا بأن الجمهور لن يعارض تلك الممارسات التي أنت شخصياً توقفت عن فعلها و الدافع هو زيادة نسبة المشاهدة فقط. تأكيد ذلك يعد مستوى آخر من الإنحدار الأخلاقي والإنساني
NOTE: This is not a religious debate so refrain from providing us with your religious opinions
A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on how to annoy people that hate you. I still get traffic from people asking for a quick fix to their hater problems but sometimes I get this question instead: How to annoy people you hate.
Oh boy! Let’s do this! 😀
How to annoy people you hate:
Growing up as a tom boy, I had a lot of issues with people around. I grew up in a family club surrounded by all sorts of kids from all sorts of backgrounds. You would imagine that going through high school is the toughest thing a teenager can go through but believe me: nothing beats a family club where even the parents of those teens pitch in to give you a lesson while they clearly need help for having ill behaved kids. I used to have a couple of good friends who preferred to be on the quiet side of “the party” just like myself and kept things low profile. I used to wear the weirdest shit and have the weirdest haircuts. Either listening to my walkman/discman (RIP/RIP) or trying to drop a ball through the hoops of our basketball court. I never thought I fit in with those “Didi” dancing girls in their skimpy outfits. I’d stand there and watch the 5 chicks dance to that shit with their moms standing there all proud of their little girls representing the darkest tragedy of humanity: teenagers and hormones. And while they used to relate to booty shakin’, I used to relate to the likes of Alanis Morissette, Bjork, Missy Elliot, Shaquille O’Neal, 2Pac and many more. I used to dress like that as well (forgive me, God!). I wrote all about that shit in my previous post if you’d care to read some extra nonsense.
Well, I did hate a lot of people. And it was not out of jealousy.. well maybe a little bit.. but, for most of them, I used to be bullied by a lot for being different. Dressing up like a boy when most girls were doing their fancy dancing and competing to become the next Alpha Female in a small community had its price. The girls were usually in groups picking their boyfriends and marking their territories while the boys just played basketball and hung around the court with some of those cool chicks. I was always with the boys trying to compete. Who would score more hoops and get the Chicago Bulls jersey first. I used to hate it when the jerseys looked better on the guys because they had less curves 😦 but it was all good when we sat there and had our rap battles. Some guys never appreciated the fact that a female can sometimes do male stuff and they also used to give me a hard time.
I managed to find a few good female friends who were not that judgmental and they made things a lot easier. They all went to mixed schools and that’s why they were probably less susceptible to the common bullshit those other kids believed. They were loud, crazy and outspoken. They had their own character and no one could bully them and get away with it. They taught me how to have a backbone and stand up for myself.
I used to pick a lot of fights with those I hated. I would pass by giving them dirty looks and sometimes instigate fights just to give them a piece of my mind. But most of the time, I avoided being around them because that would only remind me of all the bullying. Not to mention, cause more bullying. I also learned to stand up for others and I became known for being the female vigilante of the bullied kids. I would be sitting there singing alone in a corner and a kid runs up to me telling me that this asshole picked on them and they want me to kick their ass. No problem!
The longer I stayed away, the better I felt about myself. See, when you allow hate to consume you, it effects you in a way. You start hating yourself for being different. Then for not being able to make these people understand who you really are. You become aggressive and defensive. You become paranoid and expect everyone to pick on you. You stop enjoying who you are while allowing others to pick on you. You don’t want to change yourself yet you hate yourself. So when you hate someone, you don’t hate them for what they are, you hate them for what you think they think you are. You’re consuming yourself with their thoughts and opinions about you rather than enjoying yourself and celebrating your independence from the norms of society and what it dictates. I failed to hold on and I started dressing up like a “female”. Managed to put on some eyeliner and tone it down with the boy stuff. The minute I decided to follow the herd, I got accepted. Some of those people I hated so much managed to accept me as well. It felt weird, to be honest. That same guy that gave you shit is now calling you “pretty” and saying hi to you. Was it really that important for people to see me as what society thought was normal to be accepted and welcome among them?
I stopped doing the things I wanted and started doing the things THEY wanted. And I am going to tell you that at times it was worth it but most of the time, totally not.
Before the transformation, the more I enjoyed what I did, the less those people meant to me. I would even walk by and hear their nasty comments and continue without giving them any attention. After the transformation, I automatically craved their acceptance and felt bad the minute they stopped showing me that I fit in. Hate consumed me and changed me into being someone that I was not. I used to enjoy doing all sorts of things but I stopped. I used to sing and play basketball, try rollerskating and fail miserably and publicly as well, I used to not give a fuck about anything or anyone and I was happy until hate took over.
I regret letting hate take over because it made me compromise a lot for people who meant nothing to me. People that I was better off ignoring than trying to please. Hate lets you become what you actually hate. You want to annoy people you hate? Start by loving yourself and accepting that no one is the same, no one will ever be like anyone else and those you hate for any kind of reason might be having a worse day than you. And most importantly: you will never please everyone.
People who bully others wouldn’t need to do that unless they have deep issues. If you find yourself giving someone a hard time, think about why you are doing so. Hating a bully is only natural but craving their acceptance is not. Letting your hate turn you into a bully is not. Letting your hate change you into something else to stop the bullying is not. You want to annoy people you hate? Go up to them and tell them off.
After realizing what I’ve become and how unhappy I was, I did that. I couldn’t manage to go back to my old self but I managed to stay a “boy” at heart. I love the fact that I’m a female and love all sorts of sparkly and colorful shit but I also love the fact that I don’t necessarily have to fit in the normal definition of a female to be welcome by our lovely society. The problem is society taught us that a female shouldn’t be outspoken and shouldn’t attempt to be near anything that ruins her image as a female. Dressing up like a boy deems you less feminine. Hanging out with boys deems you a slut or at least craving their attention if not less feminine. Swearing deems you inappropriate and vulgar while boys can swear at any given time for any given reason! Why? I choose to express myself that way. As long as I am not abusing that right and insulting someone personally, I don’t think you have the right to judge me for using foul language. I don’t think you have the right to judge any female for doing anything a male can do anytime and get away with. I am a man who looks like a woman. I do whatever I want as long as I believe that it is not shameful or harmful and I don’t give a fuck.
How to annoy people you hate? Start by understanding why you hate them and you will be surprised to know that hate is just an imaginary feeling that covers tons of personal issues. Love yourself the most and you will not find a reason to hate to begin with. And if you have legitimate reasons to hate someone, tell them why you hate them and get it over with. You don’t need to fix things, just let it out of your system and move on. That would at least make you feel better and give them a thing to think about while you do that. If you’ve been bullied by someone, just go up to them and say: “I don’t know why you’re doing this but if you have a valid reason for being an asshole, let me know so that we can work on it and stop this shit forever.” they will probably not take you seriously but you will walk away the bigger person since you chose to confront them and give them a piece of your mind. And forget about them while you’re at it. Once you say that shit, forget they ever existed.
I used to have a bully who turned out to be one of my closest friends. I loved how she didn’t give a fuck about anyone but she would sometimes be so mean to me. One day, I went on a trip and got everyone a gift. She refused to take my gift and left me painfully wondering what I did to deserve this harsh treatment. I went up to her and told her that I didn’t understand why she had to be an asshole to me when I was just being nice and offering her a souvenir from my latest trip. She ended up apologizing and told me that she’s sorry for being an asshole and that she really appreciated it and she even began treating me much better. I knew she had issues with people and that she doesn’t trust anyone which causes her to be a bully sometimes. I understood that even before getting her that gift and I managed to deal with her with caution during our first couple of years. I hated her at times but respected her most of the time. And telling her off changed everything. She’s not into bullying now but she’s still very direct and sometimes harsh with people. And she’s one of the few people who managed to be by my side during the worst times.
How to annoy people you hate? Start by loving yourself and being true to yourself. That is more than enough to annoy anyone you hate since you won’t give them any reasons to make you hate them even more. People you hate are people you couldn’t please at the first place. They made you hate them for some kind of reason and it’s mostly because you’re not like them or at least not what they consider “OK”. On any scale. Work on pleasing them less and hating them less but most importantly, work on loving yourself more and that is more than enough to annoy anyone who doesn’t approve of your ways. I’m not claiming that I’m perfect and that occasionally I don’t hate people for any sort of reason. I still sometimes find myself hating someone just a little bit. But I do my best to turn that hate into loving myself even more. And I avoid annoying them for those same reasons. Hating someone won’t help you. If they’ve managed to inflict physical or emotional harm on you, you have a point. But instead of hating them, love yourself for being strong enough to go through the pain without turning into one of them. You’re strong enough to do that and consider them less fortunate for having to hurt someone to be pleased with themselves. Stop the hate. 🙂
This is one important question. Someone was searching for an answer on Google when their query unfortunately lead them to one of my totally unrelated-to-the-subject posts. Given that I am an awesome and helpful person ( 😛 ), I decided to write a post to that poor stranger who is probably having a difficult time dealing with the haters and wants vengeance. Dearest visitor: this post is for YOU. 😀
How to annoy people that hate you
See I’ll tell you a few things you can do to piss people off that will surely work like a charm.. (or not in their case!)
If those people are relatives, frenemies or possibly your sibling’s annoying friend coming to visit; do any or all of the following:
- Prepare them a strawberry milkshake with a dash of ketchup.
- Spit in a glass of water, fill an ice tray with that water and use it to make that milkshake.
- Tell them that you spit in a glass of water, filled an ice try with that water and that they’re drinking your crushed ice spit 😀
- Take compromising photos of them. You can always set up a camera in the bathroom and make use of the footage later. You can also stalk them and secretly snap a pic of them hogging a hot dog and Photoshop it for your convenience.. (remember, you have to prepare that dinner to make sure you get that pic!)
- BONUS: put a whole lot of chili sauce on that wiener! and don’t forget to spit! Needless to say, rub it in their face by letting them know what you did! Or just watch and enjoy while they suffer.
- Piss in their lemonade.. always works.
- Borrow their cellphones and place long distance calls or even better: several prank calls (they’ll get arrested if you’re luck enough!).
- If you have a pet, make sure to gather some of their poo in a plastic bag, manage to slip it in their bag with the plastic bag open (works for the ladies only)
- As for the gents, make sure you put that turn on their favorite seat or just lure them into that spot! (WARNING: you might have to clean the mess afterwards!) (works even better with the ladies!)
As for those nasty colleagues or school mates; use all the above tricks as well as tampering with their food, lockers, desks, or anything they use on a daily basis.
And everyone will live happily ever after..
Let’s drop the bullshit and talk real shit here.
How long will you want to annoy your haters? How much are you willing to push yourself to pull sleazy 6th grade tricks on people you who give you a hard time or just don’t necessarily like you that much?
First of all, let’s define hate. According to Merriam-Webster hate is:
- Intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury
- Extreme dislike or antipathy : loathing <had a great hate of hard work>
So now we know those facts: they’re hostile, they dislike you and you probably deserve it.
B*tches gonna hate!
Being a female, I understand how jealousy can be a #1 reason why you have female haters. I get it, really. You walk into a place full of females and they give you “the look”.
You say hi to your colleague whom you’ve just come across and his woman is ready to punch you in the face!
Or you bump into someone wearing the same outfit!
With us girls, the reasons are infinite and can range between similar fashion choices or having a man to plain and simple jealousy over nothing, really. You just have to deal with it. With some females, you’re always on the “HATE” list until further notice.
With men, I don’t think I’ve ever faced any issues. Weird but noteworthy. However, you can have a couple of haters when you publicly shame a guy for doing something wrong. Another thing you need to realize is that guys who bully girls can actually be hiding a secret crush. Most of us have been programmed to believe such a painful yet somewhat true fact. Needless to say, it shouldn’t be acceptable, don’t teach it to your kids, don’t justify bullying by saying that and never fall for a douchebag who bullies you into any relationship. EVER. Just put that in mind.
So how do you really deal with “haters” aside from all the 6th grade nonsense I wrote above?
First, you have got to understand that the way you conduct yourself around some people might trigger negative feedback. I, for one know that. I am usually told that I have one of the most intimidating body signals on earth. I realize that I usually give death glares without even noticing because of the fact that I am always ready to attack when needed. It’s a defense mechanism, maybe. But not an intentional one. I walk in steady steps and with my piercings, I do get it when people are actually intimidated. Anyone would automatically assume I am trouble. But the fact is, it only takes a grin or a kind gesture to ease things up and those who would have probably acted according to how they felt towards me will become nice and mellow.
As for females with their men, always avoid looking. I know this is ridiculous to say but why the hell are you looking at a couple to begin with?! Unless you think they’re cute and you convey that message, don’t even think about it. Females don’t appreciate competition and you -lady- know it! Actually no one likes competition so whether you’re a male or a female: DO NOT STARE AT A COUPLE. Period.
I always make sure that whenever I meet someone’s girl, I give her some attention first and more attention during the conversation. I know men are generally more respectful towards their buddies’ females but I am definite that most girl do not share the same mentality. I never had issues with any of my friends’ ladies and that is due to the fact that they felt safe. Put yourself in her shoes. When you first meet your man’s girl friend, you might have some suspicions especially if they are close friends. You wonder “did they have anything between them? why are they friends? what do they do when they meet?” and such thoughts. It is understandable. You might even feel a bit jealous that your man is sharing his time with another females. For me to just ignore the nature of some females and just assume that she will understand the nature of our relationship is just another reason for her to get worried and possibly unlike me and cause me to lose a friendship. By giving her attention, I am making a new friend and sparing her the agony of doubts and suspicions. I am also doing him a favor. However, you must also know that when you are introduced to the lady, you have to deal with them both as one entity unless she or he decides otherwise and they are both comfortable with that.
With colleagues and school mates, I know it would be more challenging to just “suck it up” and be extra nice to everyone. But being pleasant in general is one key to turning those haters into friends.. or just good acquaintances. I don’t mind opening a couple of doors or lending a couple of pens. Smiling and greeting at times. Nothing more than common courtesy and being plain pleasant. I’ve had some of the most grouchy people smile back by just being nice and I’ve known people who just wondered why the hell are those people nice to me but not anyone else. You force them into being nice by being nice.
Unfortunately, that rule does not apply to all people. Sometimes, I wanted to punch those fuckers for being totally rude but I just refrained from being nice and surprisingly enough, they stopped their unpleasant behavior. Do not suck up to people. Being pleasant is not sucking up to people. Don’t go full Truman.
Just initiate the goodness and see their reaction. If they couldn’t bother less, don’t bother again. If however they decide to give you shit, put them in place with no fighting and no biting. You can always smile and say: “Dude, what’s up with you? I’m not here to piss you off so take a chill pill” with a big smile and walk away. Just walk away.
As for the real haters.. those you KNOW hate you for a valid (or not) reason; someone who holds such strong negative feelings towards you, you need to stop and think “What the fuck did I do to piss that dude/dudette off”?
That is the question you should really be asking. 🙂
Stop looking for more reasons to annoy someone when you’ve actually brought it upon yourself. You either work on fixing that if you really care for that person’s presence in your life or you just avoid them as much as possible. You want to consume yourself and time with hate? Go ahead. But know that you are probably the reason why that person hates you and they might have not been such a hater if you were more careful to begin with.
A simple misunderstanding might be a reason why someone hates you. One time, I came across a post about a famous celebrity dressed up ridiculously and made a tasteless comment thinking it was funny. To my surprise, a girl replied telling me that my comment was ridiculous and that I should be more careful. She was someone I knew and I didn’t understand why she just snapped at me until I realized that my comment was comparing her medical condition to that celebrity’s ridiculous fashion statement. Whether this girl pointed that out or not, I was plain rude when I used that analogy and there was no excuse. I did apologize to her but she wouldn’t accept my apology and it was her right. One lesson for me and I am thankful for that day. Nothing related to race, gender, sexual orientation, religious views or even disease is to be “joked” about.
Apologies are always a life saver. Put your pride aside and admit your mistake and wait. If they choose to accept it, be thankful and avoid being “best buddies” because they would still be skeptical and you will look like a major suck up. If they choose not to accept your apology, walk away without even trying to explain yourself further. Just apologize sincerely and let it be.
If you want to annoy your haters, start by being the least of their concerns and by avoiding to piss anyone off.
But if you really want to kill the haters, do all of that without even bothering yourself with those haters. You only create what you imagine. 🙂
For to win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill.
DISCLAIMER: Please don’t do any of the pranks above because it is not cool and someone might punch you in the face.
If I ruled the world, I’d remove borders and flags. No more national anthems and religions. We would all get along.
Music and dancing will replace prayers and the only crime would be a bad dance! Prisons will be dancing schools and schools will only teach you how to sing, play instruments and dance even more.
Children will be taught according to the best dance and music curricula. Every famous artist, singer, DJ and dancer will be a teacher. No one will be “a bad dancer” forever! No more weapons, no more tanks.. guitars, drums and disco balls will be everywhere! Pens and papers will be replaced by art supplies and more music instruments.. and dancing shoes! We will breathe, eat and pray music, dance and art. There will be no hate because there will be only love for art, music and dance. There will be no money.. only confetti. You will dance for confetti and pay in confetti.. or dance! No cars, ships or planes.. we will commute by dance! And everyone will sing all day, all night and sleep to the sounds of Elvis Presley, Michael Jackson, and all those awesome mentors! Religions will be music genres and sports will be dance styles. You just have to find whichever one suites you. And everyone will revert to art for communication.
If I ruled the world, I would use music, art and dance to make this world a better place.
Come join our party, see how we play! 🙂